did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
