I wannas sexs uuuuu
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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