Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Randomize
