Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
