There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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