I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
