TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
