you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
