Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
