I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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