Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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