I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Randomize
