Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
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