Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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