i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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