i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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