Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Randomize
