My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
