Little spoons don't ask big questions
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
