um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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