I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
