ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
