Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
