God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
