You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Randomize
