There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
