I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
