Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
It's just like the Real World with babies
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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