I think i sorta joined a cult last night
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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