My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
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