At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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