Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
