are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Randomize
