i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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