I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
