my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Randomize
