whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
