Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
