I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
