Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
This is my gift to your gina
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
