Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
