I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
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Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
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I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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