it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
