The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
