my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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