so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
