i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
