Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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