that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
