Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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