Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Randomize
