You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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