I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
We have so much sex to catch up on
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
