i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
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