I want to have your abortion
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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