Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
