She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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