We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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