and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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