You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
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