Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Sex in the backyard? Check.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
