Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
