shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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