I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize