So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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