Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
