I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
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