Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Fuck me I smell like cheese
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
